Are You Really Okay?

"I'm fine" - because we're really doing well, or sometimes we just don't want to linger on the question because that will prolong the discussion, or most of the time, this is the short answer to convince everyone (ourselves included) that we're fine. But these days, "I'm fine" is a short answer to "I'm really not. But I'm surviving", a thought in which most situations we hardly acknowledge.

I urge you to sit and check in with yourself - Are you ok?

There is such power in acknowledging your feelings. Many people say "look at the brighter side", "cheer up and don't be sad", "you just need to pray and everything will be better". These are "toxic positivity" that you shouldn't buy. What you are feeling is valid. How are you? What's going on inside? Are you ok?

1 Name Your Feelings

As soon as you've acknowledged how you are feeling, put a name to it! Is it sadness? A kind of pain that stings? Frustration? Disappointment? Or anger? Label it! What are you feeling exactly? Allow yourself to be in that moment but never dwell in it.

2 Ask Yourself "Why"

While you're in the ether of what you're feeling, ask yourself "why". Why are you feeling how you are feeling? Confront yourself as to "why", be honest and go deep. Ask yourself this question 5x until you get the answer. This is when you get to accept what's going on and face it.

3 Reach Out

It's ok if you can't do any of the above. Can you call someone? A friend, partner, a support line? People who love you enough you can get support from. You can even scribble and express what you feel on your notes, in a piece of paper, or even type them on your phone's notes.

4 Express Yourself

Have you been let down, betrayed and feel like you can't trust anyone? Has society conditioned you to believe that strength is shown by silence and just walking head high? Take a bold step today and speak it out, cry, scream, do what you need to and keep yourself safe.

If You're Feeling Overwhelmed

Sometimes, some thoughts creep up and make you feel worthless. You feel tired, numb, and that feeling of void inside you pulls you in further into a dark hole. You feel like putting an end to it is the best solution. It is indeed exhausting being in a loop of emotions.

However, the solution you're thinking of doesn't solve anything. It is not. How you are thinking though, is valid. You are just carrying too much weight on your shoulders and no tools on how to shed off the weight.

You are not worthless, you put so much joy into everyone. You might be feeling a little down today but you're someone else's sunshine. Every day, you make someone else's day complete. From the smile that you gave this morning, to the "Like" on an insta post. It's a little heavy, I know. Just talk to someone, don't do it alone.

The feeling of like it's all dark and there is nowhere to go can seem real and it might be your reality right now however no matter how dark it feels and looks there is always a solution. In our very dark places, if we just allow ourselves to surrender to the greatness of the universe that I call "God", things will turn around. Once we are in total surrender our true possibilities and self shows up. I dare you to just surrender.

It sounds cliche but everyone knows it's not easy. There are good days, and most of the time gloomy days and it's okay. Remember that life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. Small steps, one day, one moment at a time. It's the consistency, the discipline, the determination and the willingness to be real in the process that will carry you through and before you know it.

Remember These Truths

You matter
You are important
Someone needs you somewhere
You are enough
You are worthy
You are deserving of love
Every moment counts
You are amazing just by being you

Support Resources

Crisis Support

If you're in crisis or having thoughts of self-harm, please reach out immediately to a crisis helpline in your country. You don't have to go through this alone.

Professional Support

Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, counselor, or therapist who can provide professional support and guidance.